Jose Mikalauskas

My story, although unique and powerful, parallels thousands of stories across the nation and world.

Being born in a small Pueblo right outside of Culiacan, I spent the first two years of my life playing in the dirt that was the floor of our home. When it rained, I played in the mud that was our roads. Oblivious to the plans my mom had, she brought me to the states. When I was two my mother brought me to the United States. From when I was two to when I was almost six I spent my days in California, going to school with other Latinx youth, playing with the white neighbors. I was oblivious to everything and anything about race, and my identity.

We moved to Ohio, and the day we arrived and moved in was my birthday. I turned six and I met my family in Ohio and had a birthday get together. Ohio was the first time I experienced the tension between races. Although I was still mostly oblivious I know I felt it looking back, and thinking about my time there.

As I got older, we moved to a more predominantly white part of Ohio, and I started assimilating to “white culture”, and started to fade from my roots and my latino identity. I started to almost feel ashamed to be latino and to be different. To be a part of this identity that most people thought was an entity of “otherness”.

It was not until I went to college that I started embracing my culture, roots, and ethnicity. I started realizing that racism got to me. That I have been playing under the hand, that this country has been trying forcing people of color into. I started realizing that I needed to break from this. I started asking my mom more about our culture, I started being unapologetic about the color of my skin and the activities of my people. I started yelling out to the world that I am Mexican, and I am a proud latino.

So here I am now still in university but with a different approach on life, my identity, and my ethnicity. I started traveling the country on my own. With nothing but a irresponsible sense of “I’ll figure it out”. I have met family I had never known before, and family I haven’t seen since I was an infant. I still have not met all of my siblings. To be fair I didn’t know I had more until months ago. I’m taking care of myself and what I feel like I need to do before I start changing the world.

Dealing with all the racist notions, and emotional labor that comes with my ethnicity has definitely been hard. But it also so rewarding to know my roots and being able to embrace them, and be proud of who I am and my people.It has been a journey but I finally feel like I am on the right path. I know I will learn more things along the way but as long as I’m open to that I know I learn well.