I spent my childhood and most of my adult life in Mexico and there’s a lot of things that I miss about it: the colorful markets, the street food, kids playing soccer in the street, the sound of bells, but most of all I miss my family and friends, it’s been hard being away from them.
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I’ve been in Portland for 5 years and sometimes I still feel like I don’t belong here. I often find myself lost in cultural differences or asking people to repeat themselves.
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Moving here meant having to explain myself to people all the time. Where I came from, why was my English so good, why don’t I look like other Mexicans?
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I also had to ask myself about my race while filling out a box; am I Hispanic, mixed, Latina, White? Hell, I’ve always been just Mexican, just Mariana.
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Moving to Portland meant having to listen to stranger’s endless stories about that one time they went to Tijuana to party or smile every time someone said Moo-choh goos-toh Sehn-yor-EE-tah.
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I had a hard time when I came to live to Portland. Finding a job was no easy task. I went to College in Mexico and I’m fluent in 3 languages but I didn’t study in the USA, so I constantly have to prove to people that I’m capable.
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After making people uncomfortable and vice versa, I’ve slowly learned to adapt and to navigate the awkward conversations and the stereotyping; it wasn’t until just recently that I learned there’s a name for that skill: code switching.
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I’ve learned a lot of things in the last 5 years and Portland has been good to me. I’ve met amazing friends here, I have a loving family, a good job and it’s summertime. I’m happy to call this place home.